Years ago, long before I ever heard of anything close to Loveawake dating site, every now and then I heard stories of a "friend of a friend of a friend, etc." who got up a good bit before her husband to do her hair and make up so as to present a more pleasant appearance for him when he woke up. Another distant story described a wife who made sure she was was wearing a dress and heels when her husband arrived home from work. At the time, I was absolutely horrified at the idea. I mean, come on! I personally made sure my husband saw me looking and wearing my worst before we were married, partially because I wanted him to see the real me, preparing him for what he could expect once we were married.
1. Intro
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Well, fast forward a decade or so to our new dynamics and I honestly don't cringe as much at those same stories. The getting dolled up at the crack of dawn is a bit of a stretch, but assuming one's self-esteem is intact and healthy, the principle behind it doesn't seem so bad anymore. I find myself taking much more note of my appearance these days. Rather than changing into my sweats the moment the door swings shut behind me when I come home from work, I find myself considering what my husband would find cute/sexy when he arrives home later. Make-up isn't much of an issue as I don't wear much, but hair is for him. He dislikes ponytails so my hair is usually down for him even though getting it up and out of the way might be a bit more convenient for me. I take pleasure in presenting a bit more of a feminine look for him, knowing that he really appreciates it, as he's told me on a number of occasions. Oh, and of course it makes me feel sexier too. Funny how things change.
3. Dressing Up
I was in a discussion with a dear friend recently about lingerie. She said she put some on once and it was off in a few minutes so she didn't get the point. I had to chuckle at that one. Sexy lingeries is about "show" for your partner not because it's warm or comfortable. And letting him "strip" it off, well, it can sure heat things up with even more fun. This aside, I do believe in looking good for my partner. He doesn't understand the need for fixing up hair and applying make-up, yet it makes me feel better so I do it. To me, it's part of being female. The only time I care for him to see my hairdo messy, is if he has caused it.
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I have always found getting dressed up a terrible bore, and since I never bothered with it much I tended to attract the sort of men who didn't set a lot of store by it. Most of the men I went out with prefered me in casual clothes. However, I do wear the kind of underwear my husband likes, which is his main concern as far as clothes go. He would prefer it if I wore more revealing clothing, short skirts and plunge-neck tops being his prefered mode of dress for me, but I just don't feel comfortable in that sort of thing. I used to wear those kind of clothes occasionally when I was young, but at my age I can't bring myself to do it. He's quite happy with jeans so long as they are tight. Baggy trousers are anathema to him, so I never wear them. I do have a wrap-around dress that I bought to wear on the beach, it's much easier to change out of a swimsuit into a dress than struggle into jeans, and that drives him wild. And I've got a couple of other frocks that I sometimes wear in hot weather, but we haven't had much of that this year. With hair I try to compromise between what he likes and what I would prefer, I'd like it shorter than I wear it and he'd like it longer, but I keep it below shoulder-length in order to keep him reasonably satisfied. I've never worn makeup, and he's never expressed any desire for me to wear it, so that's all right. I suppose I would give it a go if he expressed a desire for me to wear it, but I wouldn't be terribly happy about it, it's such a drag putting the stuff on. I've never really worried much about whether I'm feminine enough or not, I jsut try to keep a compromise between what my husband likes and what I like. I suppose since I met most of them men I went out with(including my husband) in a hisorical re-enactment society where I was dressed as a man for most of the time, I didn't tend to attract the sort of men who had rigid ideas about what 'feminine' was.
5. Me too!
My partner loves me to dress up just for him....and as he does so very much for me, I feel that dressing to please is the tiniest of "thank you"s that I can offer. He finds it sexy for me to look quite slutty for the bedroom although he'd put his foot down if I went out of the house like that, so most nights my bedtime routine involves putting on heavy makeup rather than taking it off! (I've invested in dark bedlinen too!) I'm lucky that he totally recognises that sexy undies are a treat for him and not entirely comfortable for me so when it comes to his birthday and Christmas....I buy him something for me to wear for him at his request! He really enjoys the fact that I ask him what he would like me to wear each day. He chooses whether I should wear my hair up or down too. As for me, I get a huge kick out of knowing that I look the way that best pleases him and to be perfectly honest it's a lot easier than the way I used to be standing helpless in front of the wardrobe each day trying to make up my mind what to wear. I hate making decisions if I don't have to. To me the biggest benefit of my Taken In Hand style relationship is that other than in my working life, I rarely have to make decisions about anything. It is so comforting to know that somebody else is taking the time and effort to make decisions they have thought through as being in my best interests. It makes me feel truly cherished.
6. Men and clothes
My husband would always like me to wear more revealing clothing than I do, but I am just too embarrassed to wear stuff like that at my age. Except on the beach, which doesn't count, the wrap-around dress I put on when I come out of the sea drives him wild, but I'd never wear it anywhere else. I do find it reassuring though that he seems to want me to reveal myself rather than cover myself up, this shows that he still thinks I have something worth revealing, which I find touching. My underwear remains his primary area of interest though, and that he doesn't expect me to reveal to anyone else.
7. Sexy versus comfortable
Dressing sexily is all very well, but I like to be comfortable too. And since my husband's main priority is keeping the house reasonably clean and tidy, and stopping the children from running amuck, I need to be dressed comfortable in order to be able to do that. I would not be able to do housework or break up fights between the children if I was having to worry all the time about wearing sexy clothes. My husband would prefer me in mini skirts, but he doesn't mind jeans so long as they are tight, which seems like a reasonable compromise to me. There's nothing wrong with being sexy, but there's nothing wrong, as far as I am concerned, with wanting to be comfortable.
8. Dressing...
I love being dressed by a man. Clothes are an important part of my femininity and sexuality and submissiveness. I virtually never wear trousers for example except for skiing. I almost always wear high heels. (But then I don't do that much cleaning that would require less smart clothes, so it's a question of what life you lead that determines these issues from a practical point of view). What has interested me is that since my divorce I haven't given up how I used to dress for my husband. I still wear the same things in bed etc. Perhaps it will wear off over the years and I'll just dress for comfort. We'll see.